No, don't thank me.

So instead of buckling down to prepare materials for the Purgatory retreat, my brain decided to spin an angsty crackfic scenario that I am patently unable to write because it would involve way too much plotting, and my winter high is starting to wear off. It is much, much too late in the season to lay the foundation for a fic in which some Vorling heir pulls a blackmail stunt on Alys to get her help with a border dispute and thinks he can do it with impunity because, as Simon guesses, he has somehow found out about Aral and the Escobar thing and plans to use it to drive a wedge between Aral and Gregor and Aral and Miles, and foment a civil disturbance in which he comes out on top. And then, after some desperate cogitations and as much planning as he can manage with Alys without telling her The Secret, Simon decides to fake his suicide in a lightflyer crash, and then sneaks back into Vorbarr Sultana, disguises himself as a poor babushka, and begs for tidbits at the Galenis' back door for several days until they get exasperated and finally take a second look ("Damn it, sir. Are you nuts?"), and wind up hiding him in their cellar. Meanwhile Gregor gets a visit from Alys in which she reveals that she's been blackmailed, and an hour later gets a visit from Miles in which he relates that his suspicions after reading the ImpSec report are that lightflyer + buggered stunner cartridge = Simon going on a fishing expedition, and shouldn't we be planning a manhunt instead of a state funeral? Gregor suggests letting Simon fish undisturbed, and sends Miles to Komarr to meet his parents on their way and guard Aral's flank. Then he hears from Laisa that Delia has twice begged off going with her mother to visit Lady Alys, and neatly corners her the next day at a luncheon to tell her that it's such a pity one can't talk to the dead, but he does have a few tidbits of information for her. Delia duly informs Simon of Gregor's message, and then carries one back, without ever having to admit that she knows Simon is alive, because Gregor and Simon are both so elliptical like that and Delia is more than capable of playing along. And then other mumblety mumble stuff happens and there's a showdown in a dark house in which Alys and Simon are both after the villain and meet in the silent shadows and she avoids shooting him with her plasma arc, and her wordless reaction to absorbing his living self is to hit him in the face and then hug him fiercely, and then they catch the villain together and they and Gregor are all very ruthless somehow, and the day is saved, and what the plan is for dealing with the Secret I have noooo idea.

So thanks, brain. I really appreciate the crack.

And now back to the Dante and the sticky flags, before I hie me to bed.